So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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