super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
