I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
