proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Why is your signature on my underwear?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
