omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You pole danced in your parka.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
