mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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