Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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