Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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