Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
