This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
