smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize