so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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