Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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