i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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