Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
