butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
this hospital has no fireball
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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