you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
