So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
