So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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