why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go