you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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