dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Drunk is not a location!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
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