everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Just pee around me
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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