I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
