if i can run in heels then i can drive
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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