Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize