I molested 6 butterflies tonight
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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