Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
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