ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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