The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Sponge bath it is.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
