maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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