I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
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