worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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