I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
How does one acquire holy water?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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