help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
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she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
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