So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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