so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
