Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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