you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
