If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize