Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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