We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
