Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
