i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
