I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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