May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
