At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
