THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
