I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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