Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
