Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
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