Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Randomize
