So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
