It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
