i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
