Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap