dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle