My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.