were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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