did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
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