There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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