What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
