at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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