Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize