very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I have fence marks all over my body
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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