Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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