maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
