You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
